Man Candy by Elise Sax

Author:Elise Sax [sax, elise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Elise Sax

CHAPTER 9

I push Dirk away with superhuman strength, sending him flying backward to land on his ass. “It’s Wade,” I hiss. “Five days early. I’m not ready.”

“Why’d you stop kissing me?”

He has a point. We were set up perfectly to make Wade jealous. What have I done? “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I hiss. “I blew the plan.”

Wade’s coming closer up the shore, and I got nothing. All my scheming and wishing is going to land me a big, fat goose egg.

But I do have something left up my sleeve! Or in this case, in my back pocket. I take Marie’s super sauce out my pants pocket. I wave the metal cylinder at Dirk and give him a thumb’s up.

I’ve got about three seconds to spare before Wade comes in reach, and I fling the cover off the container and spray the whole thing all over me. In my hair. Down my shirt. Down my pants. Every square inch of me is doused. I’m not leaving anything to chance.

“What the hell is that smell?” I hear Wade say, just as the fumes hit me, making my throat burn and my eyes tear up.

“Wade, welcome home!” I try to say, but what really comes out of my irritated trachea, past my swollen tongue, is, “Bade, momome mome!”

I’m blinded and I feel like there’s an elephant on my chest. “Elp,” I say to no one in particular.

“What the hell is that smell!” Wade yells.

“Elp,” I repeat with the last bit of air able to pass through my throat. With the initial shock of the pain behind me, I start to panic. I go from zero to sixty in the panic department in no time flat.

I flap my arms and run around in circles, as if I’m preparing to fly. “Elp. Elp,” I say over and over. But as far as I can tell, Wade and his companions are running in the opposite direction. The direction away from the stench.

I can’t freak out about Wade running away from me because I’m too busy freaking out about the noxious fumes that are killing me, and if I’m not mistaken, are getting stronger.

“I’m bwind,” I cry. “I canp wee.”

“Hold on. I’m coming,” I hear Dirk say. “We need to get you in the water.”

“Elp.”

“Yes. I’m here.”

He gets to me just as I hear a loud growl. And then another loud growl.

“Was wat woo?”

“No, that wasn’t me,” Dirk says. The growls get louder and then there’s a galloping sound that I’ve never heard before. Not the sound of a person. And bigger than a horse.

“Oh my wod,” I say.

“Bear! Bear!” Dirk shouts.

I try to think about what I’ve been told about surviving a bear attack. Mostly, I remember that it’s pretty hard to survive a bear attack.

Dirk takes my hand and tugs. “Run! Run! Bear!”

Bears run really fast, and we’ve already established that I don’t. So, needless to say, I’m seeing my life flash before my blind eyes. There’s a little of my childhood, but it’s mostly images of playing Scrabble with Dirk, and our mind-blowing kiss.

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